Love vs. Attachment

Friendly Warning: The contents of what you are about to read may strike you as harsh and may create an emotional reaction you may not want to feel. Therefore, read with caution or choose to opt out. 🙂

According to the ancient teachings of yoga, the true definition of love is defined as being universal, unconditional, limitless, boundless and objective. Conversely, attachment is defined as being preferential, conditional, limited, bound and irrational.  As we enter the month of February, a month often associated with love, it offers us a good time to reflect.


Ask yourself the following questions to see what you could be experiencing:

  1.     Do you love someone because they treat you the way you want to be treated?
  2.     Do you dislike someone because they don’t act how you want them to act?
  3.     If you have a partner, do you love them more than you love other people’s partners?
  4.     If you have children, do you love them more than you love other people’s children?
  5.     Do you feel loved when everyone is behaving in a good way?
  6.     Do you feel unloved when someone isn’t giving you the attention you wish you could have from them?
  7.     Is fear your base emotion when interacting with others?
  8.     Is your vocabulary filled with possessiveness like using a lot of “my” and “mine”?
  9.     Do you enable those closest to you?
  10.     Are you in denial of the truth because you don’t want to face it?


If you answered “yes” to many of these questions, you might be experiencing attachment.


How about these questions:

  1.     Can your love for someone not be dependant on his/her behavior?
  2.     Can someone call you names, and your feelings towards them don’t change?
  3.     Can you see all people as the same?
  4.     Is trust your base emotion when interacting with others?
  5.     Can you not impose your opinions or beliefs on how you think someone should or should not be/act?
  6.     Are you able to never enable those around you no matter how society might perceive your actions?
  7.     Do you feel connected and fulfilled?
  8.     Can you remain objective when challenging situations arise to those closest to you?
  9.     Can you face the truth in a healthy way when confronted with it?
  10.     Is your heart rid of all hate?  Even in family? Politics? Religion? Workplace?


If you answered, “yes” to many of these questions, then you could be experiencing love.


These questions are ways for you to self-assess and see where you can shift from preferential love to universal love; from conditional to unconditional. It’s meant to be a key ingredient in finding lasting happiness and peace. Use these questions as a way to reflect, rather than judge yourself and your actions or decisions. We are always growing and evolving, if we choose. Use this month (and every month) as an opportunity to share true love. As a result, you’ll feel happy and connected always while helping others feel connected and happy too!


Rina Jakubowicz

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